Monthly Archives: March 2013

Put on that Smile

Rain or Shine

Rain or Shine (Photo credit: Dackel828)

You would think that after so long of doing the same thing, it would become normal, become comfortable. But his body didn’t hold the same comfort as it had before. Feeling him moving above me, lost in his own world had me feeling numb. There was no passion, no romance, nothing. He was out to prove something, and it wasn’t to me.

He let his body slam into me repeatedly, and it wasn’t until I heard myself cry out that he finally stopped. I quickly grabbed the comforter that laid on the floor at the edge of the bed, and I just sat there shaking. He didn’t come to comfort me, no; he grabbed his clothes and quickly got dressed. Not a word was exchanged and I just continued to sit there and wait for him to say something, but it didn’t come.

The silence was worse than the mind numbing actions of hooking up, and I felt so disgusted by this fact that I finally broke down and cried. It wasn’t until then that he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. The action felt forced, like he didn’t know what else to do. We had been playing this game or months, and yet this seemed like how it was going to continue on if matters didn’t get solved.

We were supposed to be more than this… more than just a hook up, more than emotionless physical needs, more than an empty conversation.  We started with such a connection, with such a passion, something so real, it was almost scary. Now… now it’s just so empty and it hurts knowing that I keep holding onto something that seems to have faded out before I could save it.

In those moments where I just sat there and he held me, I wished with all my heart that things could go back to where they used to be, back before all of these negative thoughts and events started to flood into our little piece of paradise. I could feel the burn of the tears run down my cheeks at the same moment I felt his arms tighten around me ever so slightly.

In that moment, I couldn’t make him into the bad person. It wasn’t totally his fault that things were going so far down. Sure he played a big part of it, but it didn’t help that I felt like talking about it would only make it worse. He wasn’t intentionally trying to hurt me, no, but he was just as lost as I was in this moment.


This merry go round was getting us nowhere. I had been hoping that this time together would bring us back together, but it seemed like we were just going through the motions. We were bored, so we would get together, hook up, get dressed and he would take me home. We told everyone we were in love, that we had plans for the future, but at this point I’m not even sure that’s true. It felt like we were trying to prove that we still had something, or maybe it was just me trying to hold onto the last strands of whatever it was we had once had.

Everything was changing around me, and I knew I wasn’t ready for it. Graduation was coming up faster and faster, and I wasn’t ready for the thought of having to get a real job, a car, a place to live… none of it felt real to me anymore. What made it worse was the fact that my rock… the one person I was relying on to help support me and keep my head in the right places was pushing me away every chance he had, or at least that’s how it seemed from my point of view.

Nothing was taking place like it should be, not like we had planned. Nothing I had planned was moving, my life wasn’t falling into place like I had always thought it would.  I had worked hard, I put in my time, I had my fair share of struggles; this was when I was supposed to be reaping the rewards of it all, and instead it just felt like I was running into a brick wall.

At this point, I would do anything to just let this feeling of impending doom go… No matter what I did, who I was with, it felt like I couldn’t shake it. It may seem dramatic, like another cliché, but it’s something that I have to deal with on a regular basis. And it doesn’t help to put a smile on my face and make believe that the world is perfect. We all know it’s not, and yet we all want to prove that we are on top of it all.

I can’t help but wonder if everyone around me is putting on the same smile. Does everyone have it as put together as it would seem? Maybe, on the inside, everyone is freaking out just as much as I am. Nobody has it perfect, right? It’s thoughts like these that help put even the smallest of smiles back onto my face; it’s enough for me to turn my face up and help me face another day.

To Be Continued

I hope you all enjoyed this short piece! This is another small piece belonging to a whole story I’m working on, so please feel free to leave some comments and of course some constructive criticism! I’d love to hear some of the things you all like and what you all think may need to be changed!


Point of View: Reblogged

Point of View is important, and this is a great entry about it!

Michelle Proulx - Author

Plots and characters are undoubtedly important things to consider when writing a novel. I would argue, however, that POV is even more crucial. This is because if you screw up the POV, no one will even think about reading your book, regardless of how great the plot or characters are.

I’ll prove my point. Read the following paragraph:

You walk toward me, hips swaying as your silky black stilettos clack on the marble tiles. Bradley sits casually at the bar, considering what to say to the beautiful woman approaching him. She’s way too good for him, thinks the bartender. I eat up the luscious man lounging at the bar with my eyes. “What can I get you?” asks the bartender.

Has your brain exploded yet? That’s because of all the shifting POVs. For the record, the POVs in that paragraph went as follows: second-person → third-person → first-person → third-person. Ack, I…

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2013 – A Year of Changes

Happy Tuesday readers! I do hope everyone is getting some good reading and writing accomplished. Sadly, I’ve been on a reading and writing hiatus sense I finished “The Samantha Project” in preparation for the promotional giveaway I took part in. I’ve also been super busy (and will be most of this week) with school, my internship and work, and now that I’m on my spring break, I’ve been occupied with preparing for my final move back home after gradation in 7 weeks (yes… I can’t believe it’s that soon either!) I’ll finally have my English and Professional Writing Degree in hand!

With only 7 weeks left, things may be getting really hectic, so much so that my blog and social media may be lacking in activity, but never fear! I am always lurking to see what kinds of information that I may be able to share with you or even with book reviews or other promotional events! I have two book reviews already planned and I am going to be (attempting) to participate in the 2013 April A to Z Blogging Challenge! So dn’t worry, I’ll be around if you will be 😉

Some exciting things will be coming up for the blog and Facebook page! And of course, there will be some exciting stuff happening with me in the non-social media and reading world. I have been working on my story idea, though I’m not sharing details on that one just yet, cause yes, its my baby and I’m not ready to share it yet! But with graduation only 7ish weeks from now, and the big move back up to the more northern part of the state, I’ll be on the hunt for jobs, and all kinds of other things! I don’t know about my readers, but these different things are all scary and exciting all in one! Keep reading along, and I’ll be sure to keep updating!

Anyone else excited for some new changes coming up in  your near future? Feel free to share in the comments, or on the Facebook or Twitter!

The Samantha Project (Book 1, The Samantha Project series) by Stephanie Karpinske Review and Giveaway Event!

Samantha ProjectTitle: The Samantha Project (Book 1, The Samantha Project series)

Author: Stephanie Karpinske

Release date: November 15, 2012

Genre: science fiction romance thriller

Age Group: YA

Publisher: Crazy Dream Publishing, LLC

Seventeen-year-old Samantha Andrews has a seemingly perfect life; great parents, early admission to Stanford, and a boyfriend who just happens to be the hottest guy in school. But a dark secret from her past turns her world upside down. Sam discovers she’s part of a global corporation’s genetic enhancement project. And just as she’s learning what these enhanced genes can do, the corporation decides they want her, and the technology inside her, back!

During a heart-pounding race to flee from her pursuers, she encounters another person who was part of the experimental project. He’s tall, blond, tan and completely irresistible! And he can read her thoughts!! Together, they’re both in danger and a rogue scientist discovers yet another secret lies inside them.

So I know it’s been a little while sense my last review, but I have to say! I’ve been crazy busy, reading a few pretty great books, this one included! What do I rate this book? A solid 3 ½ out of 5 stars. Now, some might see this rating as poor or even mediocre, but don’t make that mistake with me! I took a huge leap of faith with this book and went completely outside my comfort zone. Science fiction romance is defiantly not my type of book, but I have to say, Stephanie Karpinske did a great job with this one!

The story starts off with a rather bland, average “perfect” girl. She’s pretty, smart, laid back, and has great friends and an amazing relationship with her parents. Would I have started a story like that? No, not really, but Karpinske starts throwing in some major curve balls to readers really fast! With one major even after another, readers get lost in all the events that go down. If you want a summary, just reread the above! Because it was a little out of my comfort zone, the story did progress a little slow in the beginning for me, and that was the main reason for the docked points. It was hard to get into, but once the action really picked up, the ball really got rolling! For something I thought I wouldn’t be into, this was truly one heck of a read!

Now for the even bigger news! This blog is taking part in a giveaway event for this book! You must get your entries in by the 6th of March and the easiest way is to like us on facebook so we can contact you if you do win! The copy of the book will either be a mobi or epub format, and if you do win I’ll need your email so we can send you your winnings!

Check out the facebook page for more information here: The Samantha Project Giveaway Event

About the Author

A former editor for a publishing company, Stephanie has worked on several bestselling nonfiction books. Now she freelances full-time, writing for a variety of books and national magazines. She recently entered into the world of fiction with her young adult series, The Samantha Project.

In addition to being a writer, Stephanie is also a dietitian with a MS from Tufts University and an MBA from the University of Iowa. When she’s not writing, she’s reading, cooking, running, or watching movies. A true Midwest girl, Stephanie was raised in Nebraska and now lives in Iowa.


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